Tony Abbot you are an Elephant Turd Brioche

In light of the liberal party fundraiser that commoditized Julia Gillard as a consumable I would like to propose a menu for the Liberals in Australia.

Appetizers

Elephant Turd Brioche – aka ‘Tony Abott’ Gigantic Ears, leaves a shitty taste in your mouth and simply put - the worst choice on the menu

Mains

There is nothing substantive about current Liberal policies (Boat People, NBN, Climate Change) and they are about as fulfilling as their tiny penises. You are left to starve for the mains.

Dessert

Pip D’Bee avec Beurre – aka ‘Joe Hockey’ a bees dick covered in buttered lard. This will surely turn your stomach.

Dinner is served

I realize that this type of humor does not add to the political debate. I realize that I could have been both more eloquent and pithy with my menu items. And I realize that it is infantile to reply in kind with a derogatory kind of humor that adds so little, but fuck it, that was fun to write, and even more fun to imagine an Elephant Turd Brioche shaped to look like Tony Abbot.

Australian politics has a well-established practice of ribbing, personal attacks and mock respect. No Prime Minister has escaped this nor have opposition leaders.

The difference between the banter that is used for male politicians and that leveled against our female representatives is that their gender is used against them. That somehow having a vagina is cause enough for these attacks, that your breasts make your policies weak.

The vicious misogynist attacks on Julia Gillard that define her time in office do a huge disservice to all of Australia. The vitriol that has been directed towards Julia Gillard is disproportionate to the reality of both her time in office and her policies.

see what they did there... changed Julia to JuLIAR. Gosh these guys are clever

Not only is her sexuality used against her in a way that male politicians have never had to encounter, but, as seen on Australian radio this week, even her partner's sexuality is brought into question.

The fact that this is none of our business seems to be lost on people. To question the sexuality of the Prime Minister's long term partner labels her entire relationship as a lie - an assumption rarely voiced in to even the campest or least attractive of male politicians. Would we ever question Tony Abbot of the veracity of his relationship? Question the sexuality of his wife? And would this have any bearing anyway on his abilities as a politician? 

Gender is irrelevant when it comes to competency - or lack thereof. But instead of attacking Gillard in a fair fight, the Liberals have taken the lowest road possible - making fun of her for being a girl who doesn't fall into the 'classic' model of beauty. It's nothing more than primary school bullying.

Full disclosure I am not a Labour supporter nor Liberal – I see a deep stagnation in the Australian political system and think that smaller parties present the strongest way forward for Australia economically and ethically.